"Psycho Babble with Brian Molko"

Placebo's on the fence frontman lets us know whether he'd rather be deaf, blind, and how many people he's slept with. Right that's £50 for the hour session please...

If you could wake up tomorrow having gained one ability, what would it be?

To be invisible. I've always been a bit of a voyeur, and being invisible would enable me to gain a lot more material for salacious and seedy songwriting. I'd particularly like to spy on government officials and musicians I don't like.

Do you prefer being around men or women?

I've always preferred being around women since I was a kid. It comes form being bullied at school. I've not been a competitive person by nature, and I think that women are less competitive than men. Also men in general have a problem with listening, while women take a lot more in.

If you could use a voodoo doll to hurt anyone you choose, would you? Who would you use it on?

Absolutely. Absolutely. Several British journalists who shall remain nameless. Who else do I fucking hate? Fred Durst from Limp Bizkit. He's number one on the shitlist. Why? Because of a fracas we had at a New York show.

If you knew that in one year you were going to die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you were now living?

Over the past year I've made a great effort to calm down a lot of my excesses...so I think if I knew I was going to die in a year, I would work as hard as possible, and party harder than ever before.

What is your most treasured memory?

My most recent most favoured treasured was being onstage at the Brit Awards with David Bowie, the two of us playing guitar and singing in harmony with each other-that was a real 'pinch me, I'm dreaming' situation. We weren't too bad, we were in the right key at least-but we could never really get the lyrics right. We were doing '20th century Boy'. We had a f***ing laugh.

The other most treasured memory is the night I did a gig in a small pub in Deptford called Round the Bend, because that was the first night Stefan came round to see me play guitar, and at the end of the it he said, 'lets start a band'.

What has been your most memorable dream?

I had a dream last night which I think was caused by seeing this film 'Sphere', with Sharon Stone and Dustin Hoffman in. I was dreaming that me and the band had crashed on this deserted planet somewhere, and the Aphex Twin was the soundtrack. It was all to do with my fear of flying, because I had a fear of asphyxiation and I didn't want to leave the planet. I have loads of dreams where I'm naked and a lot of people are laughing at me. It probably means I'm quite insecure in myself.

When were you last in a fight?

It was in San Francisco on our last American tour when we all individually got thrown out of a club for smoking. Cigarettes. Us and the whole crew tried to take on all the bouncers, but when we realised it wasn't going to work, we made a quick getaway.

If you could choose the manner of your own death, what would it be?

Sounds like a cliche, but it would have to be dramatic and it would have to be onstage. Electrocution maybe.

Do you believe in God?

Not anymore. I was raised a born-again-Christian, so my teenage years were a hard philosophical battle with Jesus. I won in the end. If there are any religious beliefs I aspire to, I believe that myself and a lot of people I've met, have been on this earth before. I also believe in karma, good and

bad.

For a million pounds, would you go three months without washing, brushing your teeth or using deodorant?

For a million pounds? I'd give it a go. I don't really smell so that wouldn't be that much of a problem. I never wash my hair anyway. It's just the teeth that would bother me the most.

Have you ever considered suicide? What is so important to you that without it, life would not be worth living?

Yes I have. I've been through some intense bouts of depression. I feel much better now. There was a period of my life where three or four times a week I would go to bed and think about dying. What couldn't I live without?

Steve and Stef from Placebo, and my NEW GIRLFRIEND.

Do you have a favourite sexual fantasy? Would you like to have it fulfilled?

Um, yeah. I have a lot of them, but it involves multiple people of both sexes, all of them famous - a mass orgy, basically. Fantasies are best kept in your head - reality never matches the fantasy. In that situation you'd probably end up coming far too quickly anyway.

When did you last cry in front of another person?

It was Christmas, in Paris, on a street corner in the Bastille. But I cried this morning - I was practising my acting and I was triggering thoughts in my emotional memory to find out which ones would make me cry. I do that sometimes, because I plan to do more movies. I was basically thinking about someone I love dearly dying.

Would you prefer to be blind or deaf ?

Interesting question. Somebody asked me that two days ago. Even though I'm in music. I would prefer to be deaf than blind. I think I would feel far less isolated from the world, even though everything would be quiet.

Somebody you love deeply is brutally murdered and you know the identity of the murderer. Would you seek revenge?

Unequivocally, yes. Without even thinking about it. In those kinds of situations, morality goes out the window and the primal side takes over.

When was the last time you stole something?

I steal from mini-bars, in hotels on a daily basis. I steal CD's as much as possible. I'm a pretty habitual thief.

How many sexual partners have you had? Do you wish you'd had more or fewer?

F***ing hell! Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus. More than 10 and less than 500.

Do I wish I had fewer or more? The latter, probably- and safer ones.

How many times during the day do you look in the mirror?

Oh no less than 20. I'm very vain, I will admit it.

Would you be happy with a marriage of the highest quality in all respects except one - it completely lacked sex?

No I'm far too much of a sexual person. I'd probably sacrifice the physical ideal for good sex. you can never get everything in a person that you dream of.

What has been your biggest failure in life?

My relationship with my family. It's a shame that. over time, my family and I have become more and more like strangers.

Have you ever been attracted to someone of the same sex or in your family?

If so how did you deal with it?

Never in my family, but you know me. I'm continually attracted to people of the same sex. I have a very big crush on a boy right now.

Relative to the population at large, how do you rate your physical attractiveness? Your intelligence?

I'm in America right now, so I'd have to say for attractiveness 6 1/2 out of ten. Intelligence 7 1/2.

What's your greatest ambition in life?

To never be forgotten.

What do you least like about yourself?

My belly, my tits, My egomaniacal tendencies. And my thoughtlessness.

Would you like your spouse to be both smarter and more attractive than you?

I couldn't settle for anything less. More intelligent and more attractive- Yes! I don't think I'd ever enter into a life long courtship with someone who didn't have a lot to teach me.