"Brian takes the Kerrang Challenge"

1 March 1997

Quizmaster: Paul Brannigan

Challenge - The trivia quiz the stars love to hate

This week’s contestant is …

Name: Brian Molko

Occupation: Placebo frontman and androgynous sex god

Specialist subject: Teenage angst and nancy boys

K: What song were the Rolling Stones playing when Meredith Hunter was stabbed at the Altament Festival in 1969?

B: ‘Sympathy for the devil’.

K: Which ‘Eastenders’ character fathered both Bianca and Joe?

B: "David Wicks. Did you hear us on ‘Eastenders’? Joe was going crazy listening to ‘Teenage Angst’, which I liked."

K: Which actress played the possessed child in ‘The Exorcist’?

B: "Linda Blair"

K: Can you spell ‘extraterrestrial’?

B: "…this is not going to come out right. This is so unfair, because I’m so hungover.

E-X-T-R-A -hypen- T-E-R-R-E-S-T-R-I-A-L."

K: Who recorded the classic pop-punk song ‘Teenage Kicks’?

B: "The Undertones".

K: Who was the Swiss artist responsible for creating the monsters in the ‘Alien’ movies?

B: "HR Giger".

K: In which US city was Martin Luther King assassinated?

B: "Atlanta?"

K: "No, Memphis"

B: "No, it wasn’t."

K: "Yes, it was. Even in that U2 song about him (‘Pride’) they have the line: ‘Shot rings out in a Memphis sky’….

B: "That was just an artistic licence…"

K: "And our decision is final."

K: Name the recent movie starring Samuel L Jackson and Geena Davis?

B: "The Long Kiss Goodnight".

K: Which former tennis player now has his own range of underwear?

B: "Bjorn Borg. Those adverts are hilarious - seeing him in his posing pouches was so funny after all the years of seeing him playing."

K: can you name all five Spice Girls?

B: "No. I don’t care about the Spice Girls at all."

K: Name the dog in ‘The Wizard of Oz’?

B: "Toto. That’s a good movie, quite dark in places."

K: Name the team captains in the BBC sports quiz ‘They Think It’s All Over’?

B: "No idea, I’ve never watched it. I’m not really a sports person. I care even less about football than I care about the Spice Girls."

K: Which New York - based band features the bass playing skills of ex-Quireboy Nigel Mogg?

B: "Nancy Boy. Ah yes, the cunning themed question…"

K: In which year did the Live Aid concert take place?

B: "Oh God, 1989…1983…I don’t know. I remember two things about it - David Bowie saying, "We should do this every year" and Bob Geldof screaming, "Look, motherf***ers, don’t go down the pub tonight. Take the money and send it to us, you f***ers!"

K: In Indian restaurants, which of these curries is hotter - korma or madras?

B: "Madras. I like Indian food, but a lot of the restaurants don’t have a very good vegetarian selection. It tends to be vegetable korma or nothing."

K: Who plays the character Rachel in ‘Friends’?

B: "The one with the silly hair, not the one with the ‘Smelly Cat’ songs, right? I don’t know."

K: Which song begins with the line: ‘An old man turned 98 / He won the lottery and died the next day’?

B: "No idea."

K: But you have this record in your collection. It’s Alanis Morrisette’s ‘Ironic’.

B: "That just shows how much I’ve listened to it. Ironic, don’t you think?"

K: Which planet is otherwise known as the Morning Star?

B: "Venus."

K: How much does Kerrang! cost?

B: "£1.20. Well, it should cost £1.20…"

K: Who sang ‘These boots are made for walking’?

B: "Nancy Sinatra. And Anita Lane on Barry Adamson’s cover version of the track. I seem to keep ending up with Barry Adamson in strange places. Steve our drummer is a huge fan."

K: What’s Drew Barrymore’s mum called?

B: "Drew Barrymore’s Mum? That’s a bit random. Courtney Love?"

K: Which song begins with the line ‘Teenage angst has paid off well / now I’m bored and old’?

B: "Don’t know. I’m supposed to know this just because it has the words ‘teenage angst’ in the title, am I? ‘Ironic’ by Alanis Morrisette. It’s a Nirvana song? Then I should have got it right."

K: Who was the second man on the moon?

B: "The one after Neil Armstrong. John Glenn?"

K: What was the name of the cowboy in ‘Toy story’?

B: "Woody."

K: Which is correct - ‘The yolk of an egg is white’ or ‘The yolk of an egg are white’?

B: "The yolk is white…No wait, the yolk is yellow. Your tricks cannot fool me…"

HOW BRIAN MOLKO SCORED: 15 out of 25

THE VERDICT: Everyone’s favourite sex-pixie was only let down by his ignorance of shite TV and US trivia. Otherwise: small Brian, big brain.