"Brian takes the Kerrang Challenge"
1 March 1997
Quizmaster: Paul Brannigan
Challenge - The trivia quiz the stars love to hate
This week’s contestant is …
Name: Brian Molko
Occupation: Placebo frontman and androgynous sex god
Specialist subject: Teenage angst and nancy boys
K: What song were the Rolling Stones playing when Meredith Hunter was stabbed at the Altament Festival in 1969?
B: ‘Sympathy for the devil’.
K: Which ‘Eastenders’ character fathered both Bianca and Joe?
B: "David Wicks. Did you hear us on ‘Eastenders’? Joe was going crazy listening to ‘Teenage Angst’, which I liked."
K: Which actress played the possessed child in ‘The Exorcist’?
B: "Linda Blair"
K: Can you spell ‘extraterrestrial’?
B: "…this is not going to come out right. This is so unfair, because I’m so hungover.
E-X-T-R-A -hypen- T-E-R-R-E-S-T-R-I-A-L."
K: Who recorded the classic pop-punk song ‘Teenage Kicks’?
B: "The Undertones".
K: Who was the Swiss artist responsible for creating the monsters in the ‘Alien’ movies?
B: "HR Giger".
K: In which US city was Martin Luther King assassinated?
K: "No, Memphis"
B: "No, it wasn’t."
K: "Yes, it was. Even in that U2 song about him (‘Pride’) they have the line: ‘Shot rings out in a Memphis sky’….
B: "That was just an artistic licence…"
K: "And our decision is final."
K: Name the recent movie starring Samuel L Jackson and Geena Davis?
B: "The Long Kiss Goodnight".
K: Which former tennis player now has his own range of underwear?
B: "Bjorn Borg. Those adverts are hilarious - seeing him in his posing pouches was so funny after all the years of seeing him playing."
K: can you name all five Spice Girls?
B: "No. I don’t care about the Spice Girls at all."
K: Name the dog in ‘The Wizard of Oz’?
B: "Toto. That’s a good movie, quite dark in places."
K: Name the team captains in the BBC sports quiz ‘They Think It’s All Over’?
B: "No idea, I’ve never watched it. I’m not really a sports person. I care even less about football than I care about the Spice Girls."
K: Which New York - based band features the bass playing skills of ex-Quireboy Nigel Mogg?
B: "Nancy Boy. Ah yes, the cunning themed question…"
K: In which year did the Live Aid concert take place?
B: "Oh God, 1989…1983…I don’t know. I remember two things about it - David Bowie saying, "We should do this every year" and Bob Geldof screaming, "Look, motherf***ers, don’t go down the pub tonight. Take the money and send it to us, you f***ers!"
K: In Indian restaurants, which of these curries is hotter - korma or madras?
B: "Madras. I like Indian food, but a lot of the restaurants don’t have a very good vegetarian selection. It tends to be vegetable korma or nothing."
K: Who plays the character Rachel in ‘Friends’?
B: "The one with the silly hair, not the one with the ‘Smelly Cat’ songs, right? I don’t know."
K: Which song begins with the line: ‘An old man turned 98 / He won the lottery and died the next day’?
B: "No idea."
K: But you have this record in your collection. It’s Alanis Morrisette’s ‘Ironic’.
B: "That just shows how much I’ve listened to it. Ironic, don’t you think?"
K: Which planet is otherwise known as the Morning Star?
K: How much does Kerrang! cost?
B: "£1.20. Well, it should cost £1.20…"
K: Who sang ‘These boots are made for walking’?
B: "Nancy Sinatra. And Anita Lane on Barry Adamson’s cover version of the track. I seem to keep ending up with Barry Adamson in strange places. Steve our drummer is a huge fan."
K: What’s Drew Barrymore’s mum called?
B: "Drew Barrymore’s Mum? That’s a bit random. Courtney Love?"
K: Which song begins with the line ‘Teenage angst has paid off well / now I’m bored and old’?
B: "Don’t know. I’m supposed to know this just because it has the words ‘teenage angst’ in the title, am I? ‘Ironic’ by Alanis Morrisette. It’s a Nirvana song? Then I should have got it right."
K: Who was the second man on the moon?
B: "The one after Neil Armstrong. John Glenn?"
K: What was the name of the cowboy in ‘Toy story’?
K: Which is correct - ‘The yolk of an egg is white’ or ‘The yolk of an egg are white’?
B: "The yolk is white…No wait, the yolk is yellow. Your tricks cannot fool me…"
HOW BRIAN MOLKO SCORED: 15 out of 25
THE VERDICT: Everyone’s favourite sex-pixie was only let down by his ignorance of shite TV and US trivia. Otherwise: small Brian, big brain.